Your Attractive HeadingDomestic violence is not just physical. It can span many behaviors aimed at making people feel isolated, degraded, and hopeless.
The first day of DVAM 2024 Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) has traditionally been observed in October since 1987. Since then, October has been a time to acknowledge domestic violence survivors and be a voice for its victims. Every October, organizations and individuals unite across the country for a national effort to uplift the needs, voices, and experiences of survivors. For DVAM 2024, the Domestic Violence Awareness Project is proud to build on the theme Heal, Hold & Center.
Domestic violence is prevalent in every community and affects all people regardless of age, socio-economic status, sexual orientation, gender, race, religion, or nationality. Physical violence is often accompanied by emotionally abusive and controlling behavior as part of a much larger, systematic pattern of dominance and control. Domestic violence can result in physical injury, psychological trauma, and even death. The devastating consequences of domestic violence can cross generations and last a lifetime.
Although there has been substantial progress in reducing domestic violence, an average of 20 people are physically abused by intimate partners every minute. This equates to more than 10 million abuse victims annually. An intimate partner has physically abused 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men, and 1 in 5 women and 1 in 7 men have been severely physically abused by an intimate partner. Millions of Nigerians live in daily, silent fear within their own homes. In addition, every year millions of children are exposed to domestic violence. Domestic violence incidents affect every person within a home and can have long-lasting negative effects on children’s emotional well-being, and social and academic functioning.
The National Human Rights Commission has compiled a list of helpful resources for parents and caregivers, children and teens, mental health providers, child welfare workers, law enforcement professionals, educators and school staff, and policymakers.
Types of Abuse
We categorize domestic abuse into six categories. They are:
- Physical Abuse: Intentionally causing bodily injury. Examples include slapping, kicking, shoving, punching, etc.
- Sexual Abuse: Any unwanted sexual contact. Examples include touching, rape, sodomy, coerced nudity, etc.
- Emotional Abuse: Intentionally causing emotional pain. Examples include intimidation, ridiculing, isolation, etc.
- Financial Abuse: Withholding money, controlling the household spending, or refusing to include you in financial decisions
- Digital Abuse: Using technologies such as texting and social media to bully, harass, stalk, or intimidate a partner.
- Stalking: Repeated and unwanted harassment or contact that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear
Who is at risk of domestic violence?
Domestic violence can affect anyone in the community. This is regardless of their level of income, status, sex, gender, age, race or culture. Most victims are women and children, and most perpetrators are male.
The risk of domestic violence is highest around the time of a relationship breakdown.
Other risk factors include pregnancy and alcohol or drug addiction (affecting the victim or perpetrator). Women with a history of mental illness and Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people are more likely to experience domestic violence.
What are the signs of domestic violence?
If you think a child is witnessing domestic violence, you can help by:
Certain types of injuries can act as warning signs that a person may be a victim of (physical) domestic violence. For example, people who have several or repeated injuries without a logical explanation. They may seem ‘accident prone’ or have marks such as bruises, fingernail scratches, or cigarette burns.
Other signs of domestic violence you might notice in a friend or relative include:
- They have lost their confidence or are more quiet than usual.
- They seem afraid of their partner.
- They have stopped seeing their friends or family.
- Their partner often criticizes them, humiliates them, orders them about, or makes all the decisions.
- They often talk about their partner’s bad temper or jealousy.
- They have physical injuries, like bruises, broken bones, sprains or cuts.
- Their children seem afraid of the person or show withdrawn or anxious behavior.
What are the effects of domestic violence?
If you are affected by domestic violence you can:
- feel scared or anxious
- have trouble sleeping
- have trouble concentrating
- lose self-confidence
- feel isolated
You might find yourself changing your behavior or avoiding certain topics around the person. You may feel like you deserve the abuse or that you are to blame. But remember, you are never to blame for someone else’s behavior. As well as physical injuries, people in an abusive relationship may also be at risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Domestic violence can increase the risk of developing mental health disorders such as depression, deliberate self-harm, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Signs that a child is being abused include:
- withdrawn or detached behavior
- being bullied by, or bullying other children
- complaints of physical problems, such as headaches or stomach cramps
- problems with schoolwork
- deliberate self-harm, or use drugs or alcohol
- mood swings
- language and sexual behavior too advanced for their age
If you think you are in an abusive relationship, or know someone who might be, get help now. Trust your ‘gut instincts’.
If you are in danger, protect yourself. Get out of the situation and call the police. Talk to someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, family member, or a counselor, who can help you decide what to do next. Then come up with a plan — decide what to do the next time something bad happens.
If you are experiencing domestic violence, it’s important to seek help as early as possible. For many people who experience domestic violence, the most important first step is to find safe housing. To ensure your safety, you should contact the police and arrange ongoing legal protection, such as an apprehended violence order (AVO). Some people may need financial help to establish a new home in safety.
How do I start a conversation about domestic violence?
If you have a friend or relative who’s in an abusive relationship, get some advice if you need to. You can see your GP or contact one of the services listed below. Talk to the person gently and let them know that you are worried. Don’t push the person into talking if they are uncomfortable, but let them know that you’re available if they need help.
How can I help an adult?
Simply being there to support someone can make all the difference. If someone is talking to you about domestic violence, you should listen closely and take the abuse seriously.
Follow these tips:
- Help the person to recognize that what is happening is abuse.
- Don’t judge their choices, even if they decide to stay in the relationship.
- Help them make a plan to stay safe — including their children, if they have any.
- Offer practical help like minding children or cooking a meal.
- Tell the person about domestic violence counseling services.
- Keep supporting the person after they have left the relationship.
How can I help a child?
- letting them know it’s not their fault
- making sure the child knows safe people they can go to for help
- Let their school or childcare center know about your concerns
- calling the family and community services child protection helpline in your state or territory
If you suspect that a child is experiencing or witnessing domestic violence, you may have a legal obligation to report this to local authorities. This will depend on the state you live in and the nature of your relationship with the child. If you aren’t sure, contact the Nigerian Security and Civil Defence Corp @ 09-2914164, or Email defenders@nscdc.gov.ng for more information.